Thursday, February 26, 2004
So here I am writing. Dreading the release of the results yet realising that it's coming closer, even as I type.
I have to report to school at 2.00 in the afternoon. I'm not sure what to expect. I'm prepared for the worst, yet there's a little part of me which still dares to hope and because I'm feeling so low, I won't extinguish that feeling just yet.
My heart is hammering away and my stomach has tangled itself into all kinds of knots. Anxiety is building within me and threatening to explode really soon.
Why do I feel so low, you ask? Knowing myself best, I have to admit that where others found the "O" Levels easy, I found it tough. I left blanks and my geography paper was one of the worst papers I have ever submitted. It's even worse knowing I come from a neighbourhood school.
And yes, at this point in time, I can only leave it up to Him and let Him decide what is best for me. It's really unlike me to leave things up to fate but I'm such a wreck already.
I guess it's asking too much but please, if you could, pray that I'll do well.
I have to report to school at 2.00 in the afternoon. I'm not sure what to expect. I'm prepared for the worst, yet there's a little part of me which still dares to hope and because I'm feeling so low, I won't extinguish that feeling just yet.
My heart is hammering away and my stomach has tangled itself into all kinds of knots. Anxiety is building within me and threatening to explode really soon.
Why do I feel so low, you ask? Knowing myself best, I have to admit that where others found the "O" Levels easy, I found it tough. I left blanks and my geography paper was one of the worst papers I have ever submitted. It's even worse knowing I come from a neighbourhood school.
And yes, at this point in time, I can only leave it up to Him and let Him decide what is best for me. It's really unlike me to leave things up to fate but I'm such a wreck already.
I guess it's asking too much but please, if you could, pray that I'll do well.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Le Bum De La Porker
Which literally translates into "pig's bum". Methinks. But don't quote me on that.
I am terrified. 4 more days before my world will come crashing down on me.
Someone told me to face up to reality. And if I do, I'd have to start looking for a job so that I have enough money to retake the "O" Levels. I received the invitation to the ITE open house in the mail along with all the polytechnic newsletters. I must have sat there for ten minutes in stunned silence. It's my nightmare come to life.
I don't know when I'll be back so I'll apologise in advance. And I'm not a "sad case" like Syahrul says I am. *whacks syah with her keyboard* Do stay tuned though. I'll find ways and means to update my blog and come online ever so often.
Till then, take care all.
Which literally translates into "pig's bum". Methinks. But don't quote me on that.
I am terrified. 4 more days before my world will come crashing down on me.
Someone told me to face up to reality. And if I do, I'd have to start looking for a job so that I have enough money to retake the "O" Levels. I received the invitation to the ITE open house in the mail along with all the polytechnic newsletters. I must have sat there for ten minutes in stunned silence. It's my nightmare come to life.
I don't know when I'll be back so I'll apologise in advance. And I'm not a "sad case" like Syahrul says I am. *whacks syah with her keyboard* Do stay tuned though. I'll find ways and means to update my blog and come online ever so often.
Till then, take care all.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I hardly have anything to blog about. So many things have happened but so much time has passed by that its importance seems to have faded away. But words will come to me as I type. They always do.
I guess you can tell by my tone that I'm not in a very good mood. So many things are plaguing me. For one, my results. I was out with my friends yesterday and we were discussing the procedure that we had to go through to collect the result slip when all of a sudden, I had an image of my form teacher handing me an ITE slip and the emotion I felt at that moment was overwhelming.
I don't know whether it was disappointment, anxiety or even worse, a foreboding feeling that it was going to come true. It was so intense that I had to stop and gasp for air. I'm no psychic but I'm starting to take all these signs as omens and it's getting to me.
How do you face all the people you disappointed who loved you enough to have faith in you? I'd run away if only to escape seeing the disappointment on their faces. I wish I could just disappear.
I guess you're getting bored of me writing about my results all the time but it consumes so much of my thoughts that I can't help but blog about it. I'm hurting. Especially when I know I won't do well and yet, still hope for a miracle.
Because deep down, I know that getting good results would be nothing short of a miracle.
I hardly have anything to blog about. So many things have happened but so much time has passed by that its importance seems to have faded away. But words will come to me as I type. They always do.
I guess you can tell by my tone that I'm not in a very good mood. So many things are plaguing me. For one, my results. I was out with my friends yesterday and we were discussing the procedure that we had to go through to collect the result slip when all of a sudden, I had an image of my form teacher handing me an ITE slip and the emotion I felt at that moment was overwhelming.
I don't know whether it was disappointment, anxiety or even worse, a foreboding feeling that it was going to come true. It was so intense that I had to stop and gasp for air. I'm no psychic but I'm starting to take all these signs as omens and it's getting to me.
How do you face all the people you disappointed who loved you enough to have faith in you? I'd run away if only to escape seeing the disappointment on their faces. I wish I could just disappear.
I guess you're getting bored of me writing about my results all the time but it consumes so much of my thoughts that I can't help but blog about it. I'm hurting. Especially when I know I won't do well and yet, still hope for a miracle.
Because deep down, I know that getting good results would be nothing short of a miracle.
Monday, February 16, 2004
I've been swindled! Cheated! Deceived! Fooled! Made a mockery of! Lied to... Ah, you get my drift. I retook the test and I've been sent to purgatory! It's not Heaven but it sure is a hell of alot better than Malebolge.
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Oh bum. I still have traces of a fraudulent, malicious, panderer in me.
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | High |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Moderate |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Moderate |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Moderate |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Low |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Oh bum. I still have traces of a fraudulent, malicious, panderer in me.
What a fabulous start to a new day. I visited a site that was featured in The New Straits Times yesterday. They posted this quiz which supposedly can tell you whether you go to heaven or hell and which level of hell you're supposed to be in.
I'm in the eighth level - the Malebolge. Bear in mind there are 9 levels - the 9th being the worst. I wasn't even worthy of being in purgatory.
"Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer."
Yes, yes, I know. I'm not supposed to take it seriously but how do you ignore the fact that you're going to rot in hell for eternity after you die!
Makes me question my values. I mean, I've always thought I was a normal girl. Sensible, conscientious, able to distinguish and differentiate right from wrong. I don't claim to be exemplary or perfect. I could safely say then that I was somewhere in between and not the scum of society. Yes, I am a rebel occasionally but so far I haven't given my parents any real trouble. Hah! I'm only one level away from being damned to burn in hell with Satan himself.
Teaches me a lesson in humility although it does come as a huge blow. Sigh. Do me a favour guys and take the test. Let me know how you guys fare. And if any of you come close to my level, maybe we could convince Satan to let us throw a get-together or something.
I'm in the eighth level - the Malebolge. Bear in mind there are 9 levels - the 9th being the worst. I wasn't even worthy of being in purgatory.
"Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer."
Yes, yes, I know. I'm not supposed to take it seriously but how do you ignore the fact that you're going to rot in hell for eternity after you die!
Makes me question my values. I mean, I've always thought I was a normal girl. Sensible, conscientious, able to distinguish and differentiate right from wrong. I don't claim to be exemplary or perfect. I could safely say then that I was somewhere in between and not the scum of society. Yes, I am a rebel occasionally but so far I haven't given my parents any real trouble. Hah! I'm only one level away from being damned to burn in hell with Satan himself.
Teaches me a lesson in humility although it does come as a huge blow. Sigh. Do me a favour guys and take the test. Let me know how you guys fare. And if any of you come close to my level, maybe we could convince Satan to let us throw a get-together or something.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Contradictions
I take back all I said in the previous entry. Being around your loved ones does not suffice. I went to Orchard Road yesterday and hoo boy, was it a madhouse. We were surrounded by couples and pestered by sales people selling overpriced flowers and bears.
Some of the couples seemed to want to rub it into our faces that they have someone to share Valentine's Day with. Boo. Should have brought rotten eggs to throw at them like my sister suggested. And yes, I have to admit, it was a little depressing seeing all of it. It just made us all wistful and yearn for a partner of our own. But that was the emotion of the moment and thank God, it's gone now.
Joline and Leslie came over to my house yesterday because we couldn't get tickets to Gothika at Cathay Cineleisure. Besides, we were sick of the atmosphere at Orchard Road.
Watched Mtv Asia Awards. I've got that thai song by BIRD in my head. Watching those hairy men prancing around in diapers was off-putting. To make things worse, we were eating at that time and had to turn our heads everytime they came on so as not to lose our appetites.
I'm sick of this template already and want to change it but my photoshop trial period has expired. I tried downloading it again but to no avail.
I'm a wreck without it.
I'm watching Moulin Rouge now. Lovely, lovely show. Will update soon.
I take back all I said in the previous entry. Being around your loved ones does not suffice. I went to Orchard Road yesterday and hoo boy, was it a madhouse. We were surrounded by couples and pestered by sales people selling overpriced flowers and bears.
Some of the couples seemed to want to rub it into our faces that they have someone to share Valentine's Day with. Boo. Should have brought rotten eggs to throw at them like my sister suggested. And yes, I have to admit, it was a little depressing seeing all of it. It just made us all wistful and yearn for a partner of our own. But that was the emotion of the moment and thank God, it's gone now.
Joline and Leslie came over to my house yesterday because we couldn't get tickets to Gothika at Cathay Cineleisure. Besides, we were sick of the atmosphere at Orchard Road.
Watched Mtv Asia Awards. I've got that thai song by BIRD in my head. Watching those hairy men prancing around in diapers was off-putting. To make things worse, we were eating at that time and had to turn our heads everytime they came on so as not to lose our appetites.
I'm sick of this template already and want to change it but my photoshop trial period has expired. I tried downloading it again but to no avail.
I'm a wreck without it.
I'm watching Moulin Rouge now. Lovely, lovely show. Will update soon.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Do I love you because you're wonderful or are you wonderful because I love you?
That's a question for all you lovebirds to ponder. Today's Valentine's Day and I'm Valentine-less. I rejected quite a few invitations for today because I'd rather be by myself. Besides, I don't really have feelings for any of them anyway. I'll be going out with Joline and Leslie because I miss them so much and because they're one of the people I love most in this world. I think we'll be going out to watch Along came Polly.
Have a happy valentine's day all you couples out there. And for those of you, who, like me, don't have a valentine's, don't fret. Just spend the day being around your loved ones. It'll more than suffice.
That's a question for all you lovebirds to ponder. Today's Valentine's Day and I'm Valentine-less. I rejected quite a few invitations for today because I'd rather be by myself. Besides, I don't really have feelings for any of them anyway. I'll be going out with Joline and Leslie because I miss them so much and because they're one of the people I love most in this world. I think we'll be going out to watch Along came Polly.
Have a happy valentine's day all you couples out there. And for those of you, who, like me, don't have a valentine's, don't fret. Just spend the day being around your loved ones. It'll more than suffice.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
My teacher called me up yesterday and asked me to be in school on saturday for the Radio Broadcasting Programme they were having. I haven't any clue how I could be of help but I'll attend it anyway. We chatted for half an hour on the phone about things which weren't related to school at all. We discussed guys who attracted us, which teachers were cute and so on. It's quite weird really, in a nice way of course. Reminds me of the time my sister and I were dancing on the podium in Hard Rock Cafe and looking down at my mother dance with her ex-boyfriend.
I went to the market this morning and I must've been sending out desperate vibes because every aunty there asked me whether I needed help. They helped me weigh out the ikan bilis and find the belachan and kang kong. When I got to the cashier, she chided me for buying the two-for-one-dollar cucumbers when I could get one cucumber for ten cents.
"Aiyah, why you buy this one? This one cantik only, over there got not so cantik ones but beri cheap. Alamak, alamak."
All in all, it wasn't too bad. I made nasi lemak today which uhh, didn't turn out very well. The omelette is burnt, the ikan bilis sambal is salty and the fried kang kong was too sweet. I was grateful though that my sister came up to me, patted me on the cheek and said,
"I'm so proud of you. Your nasi lemak has an amateur-ish taste I like. At least it tastes remotely like nasi lemak."
I'm not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.
I went to the market this morning and I must've been sending out desperate vibes because every aunty there asked me whether I needed help. They helped me weigh out the ikan bilis and find the belachan and kang kong. When I got to the cashier, she chided me for buying the two-for-one-dollar cucumbers when I could get one cucumber for ten cents.
"Aiyah, why you buy this one? This one cantik only, over there got not so cantik ones but beri cheap. Alamak, alamak."
All in all, it wasn't too bad. I made nasi lemak today which uhh, didn't turn out very well. The omelette is burnt, the ikan bilis sambal is salty and the fried kang kong was too sweet. I was grateful though that my sister came up to me, patted me on the cheek and said,
"I'm so proud of you. Your nasi lemak has an amateur-ish taste I like. At least it tastes remotely like nasi lemak."
I'm not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Was looking through the photo albums and found these old pics of my younger brother. He could never pose properly because he thought it would be too sissy for him to. To hide his embarassment, he started making silly faces. Enjoy.
Hard to believe that this little boy has recently turned 13, is towering over me and has already broken his voice.
How did time pass by so fast?
Hard to believe that this little boy has recently turned 13, is towering over me and has already broken his voice.
How did time pass by so fast?
I just caught John Mayer's Your body is a wonderland on MTV.
Oh, how I yearn for a guitar-playing boyfriend whom I could roll around in bed with. And he'll sing me songs that he writes about me and never kiss me but prefer to nuzzle and cuddle instead.
Sixteen days to go. Savour these moments while you still can.
And please, lay off the guilt trip. I feel bad enough as it is.
Oh, how I yearn for a guitar-playing boyfriend whom I could roll around in bed with. And he'll sing me songs that he writes about me and never kiss me but prefer to nuzzle and cuddle instead.
Sixteen days to go. Savour these moments while you still can.
And please, lay off the guilt trip. I feel bad enough as it is.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Finished at last. A template for the cynical and for those who don't have a Valentine's this year but are proud of it.
Why is it that everytime I look at this template, my eyes are invariably drawn towards the lead singer's um... groin? I'm not trying to be perverted but it just seems really, uh, big. I could censor it but it'd just draw even more attention to it.
How now, brown cow?
Why is it that everytime I look at this template, my eyes are invariably drawn towards the lead singer's um... groin? I'm not trying to be perverted but it just seems really, uh, big. I could censor it but it'd just draw even more attention to it.
How now, brown cow?
Never-ending nightmares
I keep having this recurring dream where I'm sitting down in my school hall and about to receive my "O" Level results. The thing is, everytime I dream I'm about to reach for my results, something bad happens. All the teachers get fired or the roof collapses on all of us, killing us instantly. Being the superstitious sort, I see this as a bad omen. Wouldn't you? I am so, so very scared. Is this a sign that I won't do well? What will happen to my dreams of becoming a teacher then? How do I hold my head up after that?
And I am even more frightened of the thought that one day, I'll wake up and realise that it's no longer a nightmare but something happening to me in real life. After all, result collection day is fast approaching. My stomach is twisting itself into all kinds of knots imaginable.
Oh. This is a temporary template while I'm working on my last few templates. I've had a crush on Rob Thomas since I was nine. But even Rob Thomas can't save me now. :(
My photoshop is expiring soon so I have to rush and quickly make as many as I can. They also serve as temporary distractions from my impending results. I finished Denise's blog too. Go see.
I'm so scared I want to cry.
I keep having this recurring dream where I'm sitting down in my school hall and about to receive my "O" Level results. The thing is, everytime I dream I'm about to reach for my results, something bad happens. All the teachers get fired or the roof collapses on all of us, killing us instantly. Being the superstitious sort, I see this as a bad omen. Wouldn't you? I am so, so very scared. Is this a sign that I won't do well? What will happen to my dreams of becoming a teacher then? How do I hold my head up after that?
And I am even more frightened of the thought that one day, I'll wake up and realise that it's no longer a nightmare but something happening to me in real life. After all, result collection day is fast approaching. My stomach is twisting itself into all kinds of knots imaginable.
Oh. This is a temporary template while I'm working on my last few templates. I've had a crush on Rob Thomas since I was nine. But even Rob Thomas can't save me now. :(
My photoshop is expiring soon so I have to rush and quickly make as many as I can. They also serve as temporary distractions from my impending results. I finished Denise's blog too. Go see.
I'm so scared I want to cry.
Monday, February 09, 2004
"Are you pregnant?,"
asked my mom when I expressed my concern over my menstruation not coming despite it being so long. The last time it came was last July. July for God's sakes! If I were pregnant, I'd be getting ready to give birth in 2 months time. Which is April. Good grief.
Am in an extremely bad mood for some unfathomable reason. No, its not unfathomable really. There comes a time in every girl's life when she feels the need to just withdraw from everything and everyone.
I'd rather cool off by working on the templates rather than unleashing my wrath onto my blog. I'll update tomorrow when I'm hopefully in a better mood.
By the way, Shazila, Nurul, our results are coming in 18 days! 18! I am freaking scared and so anxious sampai I got that macam-nak-terberak feeling. Gawd.
asked my mom when I expressed my concern over my menstruation not coming despite it being so long. The last time it came was last July. July for God's sakes! If I were pregnant, I'd be getting ready to give birth in 2 months time. Which is April. Good grief.
Am in an extremely bad mood for some unfathomable reason. No, its not unfathomable really. There comes a time in every girl's life when she feels the need to just withdraw from everything and everyone.
I'd rather cool off by working on the templates rather than unleashing my wrath onto my blog. I'll update tomorrow when I'm hopefully in a better mood.
By the way, Shazila, Nurul, our results are coming in 18 days! 18! I am freaking scared and so anxious sampai I got that macam-nak-terberak feeling. Gawd.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Bad mood. Have been snapping at sister for not doing housework. I guess she has a legitimate reason but it's really annoying because I feel like I'm doing her share. Sigh. Never mind. Should be happy she's been stomaching my food.
Oh yes, might've been a little curt on Shazila's tagboard. Sorry dear, it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Much apologies.
Been working on 2 templates in my free time. Denise's and my new one. Might not update as often.
That's me in the middle. The least prettiest. Lemme tell you that when you go out with 2 other girls who are prettier than you, you can kiss your ego goodbye. But we've been friends for so long, I won't hold it against them.
The zoo was fun albeit being a little bit stinky but then again what do you expect from the zoo? I loved the jaguars, monkeys, butterflies, lions and especially the white tigers. I've always imagined heaven as a place where people could have tame white tigers as pets. Weird, I know. I touched the ponies, goats and rabbits. Didn't manage to take a picture with the chimpanzees like I wanted because they charge $10.50 for one picture - daylight robbery! Oh, many cute guys at the zoo too for some weird reason.
When we went to Lot One at Choa Chu Kang to buy Fana some shoes, a guy approached me and asked "Hi, boleh kenalan?". I was so shocked I could only gape at him and go "Me? Uhh... uhh... I don't know..." Fana had to answer for me. "Sorry, she's attached." Which is a total lie but he didn't need to know that. She had to pull me away then 'cos I was still gaping at the guy. Har har! I'd probably have given him a fake number out of pity though. Poor thing.
Must lose weight. I look fucking fluffy in the picture. Gross.
Oh yes, let us welcome a good friend of mine Syahrul back from his hiatus. Welcome back Syah.
Oh yes, might've been a little curt on Shazila's tagboard. Sorry dear, it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Much apologies.
Been working on 2 templates in my free time. Denise's and my new one. Might not update as often.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
That's me in the middle. The least prettiest. Lemme tell you that when you go out with 2 other girls who are prettier than you, you can kiss your ego goodbye. But we've been friends for so long, I won't hold it against them.
The zoo was fun albeit being a little bit stinky but then again what do you expect from the zoo? I loved the jaguars, monkeys, butterflies, lions and especially the white tigers. I've always imagined heaven as a place where people could have tame white tigers as pets. Weird, I know. I touched the ponies, goats and rabbits. Didn't manage to take a picture with the chimpanzees like I wanted because they charge $10.50 for one picture - daylight robbery! Oh, many cute guys at the zoo too for some weird reason.
When we went to Lot One at Choa Chu Kang to buy Fana some shoes, a guy approached me and asked "Hi, boleh kenalan?". I was so shocked I could only gape at him and go "Me? Uhh... uhh... I don't know..." Fana had to answer for me. "Sorry, she's attached." Which is a total lie but he didn't need to know that. She had to pull me away then 'cos I was still gaping at the guy. Har har! I'd probably have given him a fake number out of pity though. Poor thing.
Must lose weight. I look fucking fluffy in the picture. Gross.
Oh yes, let us welcome a good friend of mine Syahrul back from his hiatus. Welcome back Syah.
If I hear any more about how perfect she is, I swear I'm going to strangle you with my bare hands.
Going to the zoo. Like totally! *chews gum and twirls hair in hand* Like ya think we'll, like, get to see, like monkeys and stuff? Like I hope they don't poop too much cos it'll be like, totally smelly, ya know?
Expect pictures. I'm off now! *poof*
Going to the zoo. Like totally! *chews gum and twirls hair in hand* Like ya think we'll, like, get to see, like monkeys and stuff? Like I hope they don't poop too much cos it'll be like, totally smelly, ya know?
Expect pictures. I'm off now! *poof*
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Old Maid
I am going to die an old maid because at the rate I'm doing the housework, no man in his right mind would want to marry me. The food I cook always turns out tasting alright lah but they don't look appealing. I always end up with scrambled eggs instead of an omelette because I have no idea how to flip the damn thing over. The kailan I cooked just now looked limp. I had to cook the rice twice because the first time I added too much water and it became porridge-y. But by God, I will conquer this skill even if I have to poison all my family members in the process.
I'm cooking nasi lemak tomorrow! I hope the fish doesn't come out burnt or something.
I'm addicted to Tal Bachman's She's so high after watching the winner of World Idol, Kurt Nilsen's video on MTV. I'm really happy he won. He deserved to win it especially since everybody was rooting for that big-mouthed Kelly Clarkson whom I dislike. She's overrated, overpublicised and extremely annoying. It just shows that there is justice in this world after all. Go Kurt Nilsen!
The O level results are coming out soon. And I am so, so very scared that I won't make it. Everyone tells me to think pessimistically and I'm taking their advice so that even if I do badly, it won't be such a big blow. I'm even mentally prepared to retake my O levels. Yes, that is how badly I think I'll do.
But I won't think about it now. I'll worry about it when the time comes. As Scarlett O Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day."
I am going to die an old maid because at the rate I'm doing the housework, no man in his right mind would want to marry me. The food I cook always turns out tasting alright lah but they don't look appealing. I always end up with scrambled eggs instead of an omelette because I have no idea how to flip the damn thing over. The kailan I cooked just now looked limp. I had to cook the rice twice because the first time I added too much water and it became porridge-y. But by God, I will conquer this skill even if I have to poison all my family members in the process.
I'm cooking nasi lemak tomorrow! I hope the fish doesn't come out burnt or something.
I'm addicted to Tal Bachman's She's so high after watching the winner of World Idol, Kurt Nilsen's video on MTV. I'm really happy he won. He deserved to win it especially since everybody was rooting for that big-mouthed Kelly Clarkson whom I dislike. She's overrated, overpublicised and extremely annoying. It just shows that there is justice in this world after all. Go Kurt Nilsen!
The O level results are coming out soon. And I am so, so very scared that I won't make it. Everyone tells me to think pessimistically and I'm taking their advice so that even if I do badly, it won't be such a big blow. I'm even mentally prepared to retake my O levels. Yes, that is how badly I think I'll do.
But I won't think about it now. I'll worry about it when the time comes. As Scarlett O Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day."
Quote of the week:
"If you're so worried about your nose, show some boobs." - my mother, when I asked her whether my nose looked flat in the pic on the right.
"If you're so worried about your nose, show some boobs." - my mother, when I asked her whether my nose looked flat in the pic on the right.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
How odd. I took the quiz wanting to get Satine as my answer but instead I get this. Oh well. I like his voice anyway.
The Unconcious Argentinian
What Moulin Rouge Character Are You?
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The Unconcious Argentinian
What Moulin Rouge Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
I am angry. Not only at men but at women too. Not all, mind you. Just a handful.
I hate men who have crude manners. The way they never treat women with respect. The way they never treat you like you're a doll made of the finest porcelain to be treated with the greatest care. Yes, the Spice Girls might have invented girl power but I was never a follower.
There is also a particular girl I despise for lying to her boyfriend. I'm rather close to him and seeing him in such agony just breaks my heart. Irony is: the girl reminds me too much of me. Given the same circumstances I would have done the exact same thing. And I would probably do it again and again. So you see, it's more like a case of self-loathing because I've suddenly seen myself through other people's eyes and it's not a very good image. To my dear friend, I'm sorry but I told you so. You should have believed me when I told you she was probably interested in someone else. But cheer up. There're many girls out there who can treat you better.
Maybe that's what you're like - crude and vulgar. Maybe that is the way you act around everybody but I miss feeling special. I found that appealing once but people grow up. It just isn't funny anymore. You can't expect me to have so strong an emotion when you treat me like everyone else. Yes, I know. You loved me and I did love you. I miss the good old days when you cared about what I thought. I miss the times when you used to call me sayang and the way you refrained from drinking and using vulgarities. I miss the days when I used to wake up happy because you were in my life.
And I guess what she said is true. The intensity of my feelings for you seem to have mellowed as much as I want things to be the way they were before.
I hate men who have crude manners. The way they never treat women with respect. The way they never treat you like you're a doll made of the finest porcelain to be treated with the greatest care. Yes, the Spice Girls might have invented girl power but I was never a follower.
There is also a particular girl I despise for lying to her boyfriend. I'm rather close to him and seeing him in such agony just breaks my heart. Irony is: the girl reminds me too much of me. Given the same circumstances I would have done the exact same thing. And I would probably do it again and again. So you see, it's more like a case of self-loathing because I've suddenly seen myself through other people's eyes and it's not a very good image. To my dear friend, I'm sorry but I told you so. You should have believed me when I told you she was probably interested in someone else. But cheer up. There're many girls out there who can treat you better.
Maybe that's what you're like - crude and vulgar. Maybe that is the way you act around everybody but I miss feeling special. I found that appealing once but people grow up. It just isn't funny anymore. You can't expect me to have so strong an emotion when you treat me like everyone else. Yes, I know. You loved me and I did love you. I miss the good old days when you cared about what I thought. I miss the times when you used to call me sayang and the way you refrained from drinking and using vulgarities. I miss the days when I used to wake up happy because you were in my life.
And I guess what she said is true. The intensity of my feelings for you seem to have mellowed as much as I want things to be the way they were before.
My maid went home today and guess who's been elected to take her place?
You guessed it - moi.
I was watering the plants in the garden when my neighbour's youngest daughter aged 3 sidled up to me and innocently said " Jie jie, my vagina very itchy " before scratching herself in front of me. When I started sputtering that I had to go in and clean the house, she placed the same hand she used to scratch herself on my hand and smiled at me. " You come back later okay? " Yaargh! *scrubs hand vigorously*
You guessed it - moi.
I was watering the plants in the garden when my neighbour's youngest daughter aged 3 sidled up to me and innocently said " Jie jie, my vagina very itchy " before scratching herself in front of me. When I started sputtering that I had to go in and clean the house, she placed the same hand she used to scratch herself on my hand and smiled at me. " You come back later okay? " Yaargh! *scrubs hand vigorously*
Monday, February 02, 2004
What me and fir discuss in the wee hours of the morning:
Fir: "Do you check on your waste sometimes? "
Me: "No."
Fir: "Not touch mind you but stare at it. Watch the grains and the cracks. Its kinda sad in a way."
Me: "I read somewhere that people who look at their shit after they're done and look at their toilet paper after they're done wiping need psychiatric help."
Fir: "I don't do the wiping thing. That's just gross."
Me: "Oh, I do the wiping thing."
Fir: "That's sick! You need help."
Me: " Look who's talking. I'm not the one who thinks my poop looks sad."
Silly aren't we? But life seems so meaningless when we have to pretend we're matured all the time.
Fir: "Do you check on your waste sometimes? "
Me: "No."
Fir: "Not touch mind you but stare at it. Watch the grains and the cracks. Its kinda sad in a way."
Me: "I read somewhere that people who look at their shit after they're done and look at their toilet paper after they're done wiping need psychiatric help."
Fir: "I don't do the wiping thing. That's just gross."
Me: "Oh, I do the wiping thing."
Fir: "That's sick! You need help."
Me: " Look who's talking. I'm not the one who thinks my poop looks sad."
Silly aren't we? But life seems so meaningless when we have to pretend we're matured all the time.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Damn it, why is it always so difficult to find a single, good-looking and articulate men?